Thursday, April 26, 2007

Meanders

Last night I was getting ready to start writing my final papers for school.
I was setting up my DVR for the night, making sure I won’t miss anything worth watching, when I decided to watch Tuesday’s recording of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart featuring special guest: Arizona Senator John McCain.
And it was amazing.
First time I hear someone questioning the governmental decisions related to the war in Iraq to someone that is NOT a Democrat but still a government representative, asking THE questions and making clear and obvious that questioning the government is not antipatriotic or anti-troops –which has been the way the government has been making its case up to this point- but exactly the opposite.
I am not pro Democrats or anti Republicans.
I don’t trust many members of the Democratic party either, especially those engaged in that same practice but instead of using the ‘anti-patriotic’ line, they use the ‘guiltracist’ trip (notice I joined two words together because they use them interchangeably)

What I am talking about is the intention –of the government from all things- of not allowing people to question ‘what is’ because that goes against personal interests or visions of the world.

And I repeat: PERSONAL.
“What is good for me inherently must be good for you and don’t even dare to question otherwise because that means that you want my destruction which is yours too. If you do question me you may destroy (huh?) me/us which means that you are like a suicide bomber that is ready to kill himself and destroy everything around him, or a misanthropist racist…in other words, you are a terrorist. And before you say anything else let me enroll everybody against you because you are dangerous”

WOW!

OK, so the Daily Show ended and I was back to cable checking the programming when I read “Bill Moyers’ Journal”…uhm, Bill Moyers? I was watching his interview with Joseph Campbell for my Symbolism class and I was wondering about him! Is it an old program or a new one?

Turned out it was a brand new one, “Buying the war”, about how journalist corp in the White House tacitly allowed President Bush to invade Iraq. How the government made such a wonderful case and used the media so perfectly in their favor.
A Harvard case-study of political propaganda.

Nobody, at least no editor or journalist of the main media conglomerates (CNN, NBC, ABC, WSJ, NYT, etc, etc, etc) ever questioned the government affirmations about WMD’s, Hussein’s alleged links with Al Qaeda or the actual plans of war.
Nobody took the effort to go to ‘the source’: Iraq, the bureaucrats, the experts, the people in the field, the diplomats in the Middle East and ask them: is that true? What is going on?

Fox News became the flag ship of the government propaganda, and the use of ‘American values’ and September 11’s tragedy made it an implicit but effective bully able to move masses against anyone who would dare to question the government affirmations.

I remember the first time I heard that Hussein had links with Al Qaeda.
I was stunned.
What? Hussein, a secular tyrant, that has been scared to death by anyone that shows sings of been able to recruit its people against him in any imaginable ways, a lunatic that had been completely isolated since before the first Gulf War, a coward that governs with a stern fit over opposing groups, that mistrusts Iran, Syria and especially Afghanistan and the Arab Emirates….in touch with Al Qaeda?
Says who?

I thought that someone here, Thomas Friedman or Ted Koppel maybe, will show the American public that that was almost impossible.
I mean, Americans are not that good at geography, let alone politics in the Mead East besides knowing that Israelis and Palestinians fight against each other all the time and that countries out there have a lot of oil, but Friedman, Koppel and others have been there and talk and write about it so they may be able to explain how those ideas were just not, well, real.

And what about the WMDs?
Given the restrictions and controls over the Iraqi military from the U.N, Russia, France and even China, that was not possible either.
Besides, if they did have a strong military they were more focused on ‘checking up’ on the potential opposition in Bagdad than planning a war with anyone else.
Chemical weapons?
Well, that was a certain possibility given their low cost and easy manufacturing, but not in a massive scale mainly because of the restrictive international regulations concerning Iraq at the time and how much it was plagued with spies from all over the world.
One little indication that a group of more than 5 people were gathering somewhere in a daily basis and were handling chemicals and working non-stop would have Israel, Turkey and Iran (not to mention the Kurdish community all over the world) screaming foul in seconds.

I remember my confusion when I heard agents of the government saying that Iraq was sort of an ‘easy going’ group of Muslims; the war would be so easy, everyone will love Americans and take them as their saviors. Besides Sadam Hussein there were no problems, all Iraqis ‘were the same’.
No mention of its complicated social and political web Turkish, Sunnis, Shias..nothing

Wait a minute
How do I know about all that?
Do you really want to know?

I read the news!

Yes, I lived in Israel for a while and yes I started Political Sciences at the University of Tel Aviv with an emphasis in Arab studies, but that was right before the Perestroika and the Gulf War and one thing I learned from living there is: things are in constant change, you can’t relate to the same issue in the same way for more than 3 weeks, let alone 15 years or more!
And nothing, n o t h i n g, is never the way it seems.

In any case, I learned about the complicated social structure of Iraq in 2002 when Bush was making his case by clicking on: ‘Naked Planet Iraq’ or something of that sort, nothing official but ‘credible’ that would give me some information about the life in Iraq and what did it look like.

All the information was over the Internet for anyone to see.
Typing ‘Kurdish in Iraq’ or ‘UN and chemical and nuclear weapons in Iraq’ and something might show up…for anyone interested.
And ALL the reports about Hussein since the Gulf War –by anyone who met him- depicted him as a loner whose only visible supporter was Hugo Chavez, the only international leader who visited him since 1991!

All that information was ignored in favor of a propaganda machine that was about to overtake and change hundreds of thousands of lives for ever.
No journalist took the effort on t r a v e l l i n g to Iraq, or anywhere around there, and find out…why waste that money when you have all those pundits that will give you a “pro-American” opinion for freeeeee!

In the US everyone was sold to the war once Colin Powell exposed the Iraqi threat at the UN Security Council: how would Mr Powell lie? Not possible! Especially not at the UN He knows!
But I remember reading the opinion of international diplomats and personalities: Are you sure he’s the Secretary of State of the US? Of the US? Really? Then where did he get ‘that’ from? Why my government never heard about that before?

The position of American media? Who are ‘them’ to question American politics?
As a journalist my first thought was: wait a second!
What if ‘they’ were right? Who else besides the American and British government said that it was right?
Mind me: what are journalists for if not to dig up and find out what the source of the matter really is especially when there are talks of war!?
For me the shadow of the Holocaust was too present to be ignored: people were dying in Europe, they were persecuted and killed in a systematic and horrific death machine but almost no information was published in the US media about the camps and that horror.
Most people here knew about it because of their family members fighting out there….

I thought: “here we were again, taking sides and not looking around before making a decision”
It’s nice when the reality-check is about Africa and the poverty and AIDS problems, it feels so far away and so awful that people kind of put it in their cubicles and savescreens or their charity contributions but it’s not really ‘present’…so there is no real threat.

A war of international proportions on the other hand, the US getting involved in the Middle East, talking about weapons of mass destruction and terrorism, that’s another story..
And what American journalists did? Nothing!
They gave all their trust and professional principles away to avoid being signaled out and called traitors.
I remember feeling so obfuscated but I could not say anything because: who am I to question my host’s politics?

All that lack-of-truthful-information that was going back and forth between what could be seen as a monolithic source of information (the government) and a powerful conglomerate of the willing (the media) made me think:
If you don’t want to see the truth or take care of it OK; but what about the people?
What about those who were going to have bombs and foreign military running around in their backyard and flying over their heads? What did they think about all this?
We know what happened during the invasion thanks to a now very famous blogger, but what was there before that? Who else was out there speaking out and telling their truth?
But then again: who would listen anyways…

Then I think: why the US hasn’t got into a war with Iran? What had changed since?
They obviously have the intention, they are looking really hard to make their case but seemingly not many people are listening anymore?
Why?
What is different -if anything- within the American people that is making it hard for the government to use the same ‘trust me I know what I’m saying so if you are not with me you are a traitor’ card anymore?

My answer: Blogs

I watched a Ted Koppel special this past November about life in Iran.
He actually traveled to Iran and spent some time there checking facts and learning about their culture and politics. Just enough to show who Iranians are, how do they look like, what do they do, what do they think about themselves and the world around them and especially about the American way of doing politics…and during that special Koppel said something like: people in Iran use blogs as personal journals and as a way to connect with others, especially with their families overseas, particularly with their families in the US.

Even tho the government installed softwares in their Internet servers that shut down any website containing words censored by the regime (like “women”, “woman” is OK but the plural is not because it implies an assembly of women which is something prohibited by the strict regime), “they still find their way ‘out’. Blogs is the new frontier of information and social interaction”.

I was remembering Koppel’s special while watching Moyers’ program and I recalled that now journalist and pundits ‘excuse’ themselves when mentioning Iranians, ‘they are Persians really not exactly the same as Iranians, you know’ and they sometimes even make a side note to remind the audience that Iranians while predominantly Muslims are not really Arabs ‘but the story is to long to be told here’ and they keep talking about whatever new stupidity Ahmadinejad came up with.

That makes me wonder: why they didn’t make those side-notes about Iraq 5 years ago? What had changed since the invasion in Iraq?

My answer: Blogs.

Blog IS the new frontier. Blogs are the media that people are using to fill the gaps or find out more about news.
If something happened, sure enough there might be plenty of people who have an opinion about it. All we need to do is type the words and we will find it.
And it’s not a depersonalized, market-driven source, it is an individual. The points of views and experiences of an individual that most probably than not is in touch with the news (those who are not ‘there’ are immediately rejected).
Blogs are the new ‘go to’ primary source of information about the outside world.
Suffice to see the thousands of blogs that showcased first-hand the war between Hezbollah and Israel this past summer and how they were used by the media as part of their account for what happened that day.

As a journalist I find it scary and awesome at the same time.
It’s scary that an opinion is now a source of news, but I love the fact that that opinion has to be supported on proven facts: just because you say so doesn’t mean it happened; show me, prove me what happened for me to have my own ideas about what you are talking about, otherwise your account has the potential to fizzle sooner or later and nobody wants to be called the supporter of lies anymore.

The best part is that no bunch of media companies or governments are the omnipotent gatekeepers and owners of the information anymore.
The people hold the key and the possibility to say their truth to whomever wants to hear it…as long as they make the effort to type the words on their Internet browsers…

One sided news?
No more, no thanks!

Now if only I could cut and paste this three times for each of my final papers…

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Netzach, the primal growth

According to the Jewish calendar we are in the weeks between Liberation (Passover) and Action (Simcha Tora, receiving the Torah from Mount Sinai).

Between the decision of getting rid of all that which chains us and stops us from moving forward in our lives (Passover) and the moment when we compromise ourselves in a style of living and principles that can help us achieve a better life for the greater good (Simcha Torah) there is a period of time that we need to understand where we are, what we want, and where we want to be.
And if we already know what that is we can use that time to be sure we are ready, really willing and able to receive it, do it, and be it.
That’s the time of Contemplation or Omer.

It is a period of 7 weeks, each week is devoted to a different lumination of the Kabbalistic Tree of Life.
The luminations are 10: the first 3 –or upper emanations – are Crown (Infinite will of God and the Ethereal Idea of what Is), Wisdom (The energy of Synchronicity, Intuition and Life beyond time and space) and Understanding (The energy of Time, Discipline and Creation), all related to the idea of Self, which is beyond us as individuals.
The 7 lower luminations are Mercy, Severity (judgment and analysis), Beauty (love and balance), Eternity (relationships, Mother Nature,repetition and pleasure), Splendor (communication and magic), Foundation (death and transformation) and Kingdom (the material world), related to the experiences of the Ego which is what we experience as humans and therefore it’s what we need to tame and understand if we want to achieve what we want.

In addition, according to the Hebrew calendar we are in the month of Iyar, the month of Taurus which Kabbalisticaly is the month of healing given that it is the month imbued with more Light than any other.

Paradoxically the time of Omer is a time where according to Kabbalah there is no energy in the Cosmos: if we are meant to spend some time reflecting about our lives and ourselves why would we need energy at all? Why would we need to move and do and create anything?
So during Omer we restrain from traveling, engaging in new activities –unless we had planned it before Omer, moving to another house, another city or country; marry, invest in new projects or sign important contracts of all kind, and sex.
All we do is work hard, reflect a lot and enjoy the every day of life.

We are now in the week of Eternity.
I’ll quote my astrologer and author Gahl Sasson: “Eternity in Hebrew is ‘Netzach’ that has the letters of the word “tzanach” which means ‘to drop’…serves to transport all the airy intellectual and fiery emotional axioms of the Tree of Life down Earth. It grounds us in natural physical processes that maintain our existence”
“Eternity yields all internal action, it proliferates through replication, it is the most practical energy in the right column of the Tree”

In other words: get your stuff together because your emotions, analysis and theories about “whatev” will be put to work ASAP! In the most unusual and unexpected ways, because if you think you know and you believe you know then you may have no problem in proving that is so, right?…oh well, doesn’t matter, the Cosmos will check it up BIG TIME.

And so here we are, starting the week of our finals and finishing a round of theoretical learning.

I started this blog talking about Fertility and how excited I was in learning about Indra. Later in my research I left Indra in favor of Vajrapani one of it’s later ‘encarnations’ for very selfish reasons: I needed a role model and a mythological guide to keep my hopes up and give my hard work an ‘it’s hard but it’s naturally good and worth doing it’ value.
Then right at the nick of time Indra came back to the forefront with a bang!
At the chat room with my friend Pia, we were talking about the wonders of our respective myths. She then commented that Indra could destroy worlds in the blink of an eye at his will and that was like if Indra had thrown one of his thunderbolts right into my head!
Really? Indra could destroy words at will?
No wonder the Buddhist didn’t like him!

You go man!(?)

And then I was watching a DVD for another class, an interview with Joseph Campbell and he mentioned Indra’s nest.
I’ve heard about it before, in fact at the beginning of my Internet research when I typed Indra lots of Internet, software and computer companies showed up in my results, but I never paid attention to it because I was focused in knowing his origins and the reason why those companies chose his name.

But Campbell’s words resonated deep inside and I lost the rest of the program looking for the story of Indra’s nest over the Internet…

It is about interconnection and how life is about ‘apparent’ random circumstances and people we meet out of nowhere that once we look back we go: OH! So that’s what it was all about!

Like studying at Pacifica, or more specifically, studying this term at Pacifica.
Right at the end of the rope I find myself questioning my stay.
What I thought would be a great and fulfilling learning experience is turning out to become a dreadful academical nightmare.
I’ve been fighting the feeling of obligation from overtaking my relationship with my classes, trying to maintain the sense of wonder and discovery but the load of work and the grading parameters are making the task a challenging chore of its own.

Not only that, I’m also questioning my staying in the U.S.
I’ve been literally struggling to have a life in this country.
It has been as productive as planting a living dove -yes a dove- in the desert, waiting for it to grow rose-colored pears in its beak, and expect it not to die -minimum, from boredom.
I’ve been in so many countries in the world, and nothing compares to this.
Nothing.
What kept me here up until now is the feeling that I have to stay for some reason unknown to me at this point, and that every step I’ve taken in my life have always showed up before me first…if no other place had showed up in my radar then I assumed that it meant I had no other place to go because, literally, I can’t go back to my home country (I mean, I can, but I value been alive enought for me not to do that) and going back with my parents wouldn’t change much of my present circumstances: it’s still the US and worst, is part of the US I never liked since the first time I went there when I was 10 and my dad’s health is deteriorating and I can’t do what I used to do back overseas to help: get hold of thousands of resources of all kind –whatever was in my mind or I deemed as useful I just grabbed and got it- here, ‘we’ as new immigrants in this ‘new’ post Sept 11 America are nobody and ‘I’ haven’t been able to get hold of any effective resource even for my own survival anyways.

And so Indra comes back to the rescue, to keep my hopes up, or at least trying to: it is easy to destroy worlds at will, but every random decision we take can have ripple effects (the Eternity character of the kabbalistic lumination of this week, the lesson of Indra’s net) beyond what we see.
I may now be in automatic, passing by my days as low-key but satisfying as possible fulfilling many of my academical requirements without really meaning it, which for me it’s already a great loss.
Nevertheless I’m doing my best to follow Vajrapani’s fierce will towards good, fighting against the illusion that is negativity and pessimism, looking up for the power of fertile creation and harmonious survival I have in my hands, like Indra, and stay still, experiencing the wonder of Light of this month of Iyar, learning, practicing and honoring in contemplative awe the 7 luminous emanations of the Tree of Life until the time of revelation finally comes through, and my goals’d move on and show up right in my front door…. Because I say so!

Reference: Sasson, G. & Weinstein, S. (2003). A wish can change your life: How to use the ancient wisdom of Kabbalah to make your dreams come true. New York: Simon & Schuster.

A Little Ode to Me!

According to the Hebrew calendar we are in the month of Iyar, the month of Taurus which Kabbalisticaly is the month of healing given that it is the month imbued with more Light than any other.
A light that has the potential of making everything look at its best and a light that can be channeled to heal mind, body and soul, because everything shows up on its true colors and intentions and the darkness disappear

Those born in the month of Taurus can see beyond the material, they FEEL it and their sensual relationship with their surrounding is less utilitarian and more divine because they experience the Light in everything in a deep existential way.
The downside is that there is so much in that Light that Tauruses see very little beyond that beacon that is directed at them non-stop and that makes them see no reason why making any effort in looking for the Light if they have it around them and inside them all the time anyways?…What you don’t have it? How is that possible?
Another downsize of it is: who wants to see the truth of it all 24/7? Who wants to be that intrinsically deep all the time?

I was born in the month of Iyar, the 5th of Iyar to be more precise.
The day of my birth was the 20th day of Omer, the sixth day of the week of Beauty (3rd week of Omer).
This was the first time in a loooooong time that both my birthday in the Gregorian and Hebrew calendar coincided in the same day!
Yooohoooooooo!

They say that sometimes when we receive Light , it is so much and so heavy that we feel lost, ‘down’ and as if we were living everything in slow motion.
It is a very different feeling from being tired or depressed.
I’ve had that experience a few years ago in my first Kabbalistic Rosh Hashana…and again this past week and especially this Monday…in my B-day!

That makes me think that there are plenty of wonderful things about to come…at it’s right time, in the right place for my wonderful enjoyment and growth for the greater good of all…so be it!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Collages

My original intention was to make a big collage of three different elements but I could not find a way to put them together so I decided to keep them separated.
I wanted to relate to the main characteristics of Indra/Vajrapani that I identify with.

The first piece is the image of Vajrapani and Kali together in their most 'ugly' but known image, both are said to be originated from Indra. It's called "Wisdom" because they are gods of wisdom, inner strength, and determination. Life is not about been pretty or nice, it's about discovering and being what we are about with no fear and no second guessings.

The second piece is about the process to get to our truth: "Contemplation" it has a quote from Mark Twain that I relate to very deeply. Contemplation can happen anywhere, psychologist say that it can happen even when we sleep. That image has a lot of power: the reflection of the bed and the stillness of the water talk about the need to bound, discover and acknowledge one self and the exciting possibilities it can bring to all.

The third piece I wanted to find a picture of a busy street and a person who recieves Light that reflects inside and outside, instead I used the words and images of things we may dream or experience in our everyday life. It's called "Action" and it relates to the 'doing' part of our lives.
It shows the image of Indra in his prime, before he got cursed and relegated to the corners of heaven, Indra was known for been the hero that slain the dragon who stole the waters and cows of prosperity; the blue sky that we may not pay attention to but shows up every day and is part of our way to measure time, the lotus in the damp which is what we try to do sometimes: the best in the middle of the worst, and a couple that runs free and happy which implies communication, understanding and work...which at the same time bring bliss, growth and more energy to move forward.

Action


Elevating the Everyday-
Movement is the only Truth
Live life like you really mean it

Contemplation




The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself- Mark Twain

Wisdom



Inner Strenght Has no Pretty Face

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

How do you measure strength?

This week has been amazing.
Literally speaking.
I’ve been as busy as I never thought I would with school (and I don’t have a job or family to attend -yet- can’t imagine what my classmates who do have jobs and families might be going through)

But as you can imagine, class-work is not really an ‘amazing’ spice for anyone…or at least not for me, most of the time (ahem).

It all began two weeks ago when I got an amazing miracle:
Friday night I received a phone call for a last-minute invitation to the first Passover seder (that following Monday) with a bunch of Venezuelan Jews that live in the area.
It would have been my first Passover without anyone or anything to do in decades –I left my congregation last year and my family is far away- but I took it in stride planning on concentrating on school work and the mid-terms instead.
Not so much fun, but then things changed like out of nowhere…
I got the invite from a stranger that is not such a stranger because the meeting turned out to be a very funny ‘six degrees of separation’ kind of thing.
The Venezuelan Jewish community from Caracas is relatively small and we all have friends or relatives who studied or dated someone we know.

In this case, the woman who called me is the wife of the younger brother of a high-school classmate, the home owner where we had the seder is an older brother of another high-school classmate and the son of one of my doctors back there, and his wife is the niece of one of my mom’s best friends….and I haven’t even talk about the rest of the group but you get the idea….

Man I felt so weird!
I haven’t been with so many Venezuelan Jews in the same room since I left my country!
So cool!

Then a gal from my coaching workshops invited herself to a video-night at my place last Saturday and that’s when things started to turn to something really different! (if the last minute invite to the super-cool seder wasn’t ‘different’ enough)

We saw the fast-forwarded version of “Running with Scissors” (my bet, whatever Annette Bening is in I HAVE to watch it)
I actually loved the last 30 minutes of it, but I would not recommend it for only those 30 min.
It reminded me so much Pacifica Institute – ahem in a very weird way- but besides that, ahem, it was actually good intense stuff….still, not recommended for those final 30 min at all.

My friend was ‘out of it’, no idea what the heck was so interesting for me.
Seeing her boredom I put a DVR recording of last Friday’s episode of CBS ‘Ghost Whisperer’.
She freaked out.

Both her and I have ‘gifts’ similar to the main character of the series.
The difference between my friend and me is that for me that’s a daily thing I do, sort of like the character of the series, but not as ‘pronounced’: I turn on the switch that allows me to ‘see them’ whenever I want instead of seeing them all over the place (well, that happens often but not that often) like in the series.
My friend, on the other hand, is scared of it and doesn’t know what to do with it or how to handle it.
So I thought that given the tame and lame theme of that particular episode I could help her with a visual of what is that she could do. And how much good she can do with it.

20 minutes after a heated discussion, she agreed to watch it…and as expected, she loved it.

The recording was over and she was asking me questions and talking about this and that when I went into trance.
Just like that.

My trance is quite unique, given that I have been relating to that sphere for so long, and my exceptionally high level of sensitivity and empathic sense, I/they can be talking with you like if it was actually me while I’m cooking or walking down the street patting the neighbors’ dog or answering the phone or whatever.
Two in one.
What a treat!

So I was telling her whatever and two hours later I came back and she left very exhausted, shocked and upset (oops)

Two days later she emails me saying that she’s fine and planning for a next outing or something.

Next: this past Tuesday I get a phone call from Israel from an Uruguayan friend of mine that lives there and I haven’t seen in almost 20 years!
I met her when I was living in Israel and we lost contact before I left the country (gosh I am old, ahem, rather: who knew!!!).
We have been emailing sporadically for the past two years -she got my email from a common friend- and last month I sent her my phone number.
She is going through a really hard time: her divorce is horrible, she’s depressed and they found a cyst in her brain that nobody knows if it’s benign or not.

I didn’t get in trance but I really didn’t need it.
Two hours later she hang up tired, upset and disappointed.

In between I get a phone call from a classmate that is also having some difficult times.
That phone call lasted 20 minutes with more or less the same results.

And I find it all amazing.

Why?

Let me explain it with the assignment of the week.
We have to make a composition of images that represent what our myth means for us or what we have learned about it.

I had no idea what to do.
Then I recounted my whole week, including my visits to my healer(s), the emails from friends from around here and from far far away and all over the place, even my neighbors comments and then it hit me.

The common theme this week has been: ‘how strong and how my actions reflect how truth to myself I am’
The first two times I heard that I started to laugh like:
Me?
Strong?
Me?
Aren’t you strong too?

Yes, most are….but seems that not as strong as me.
I guess.

What’s the difference?
Maybe you and I are not that different but the main difference that my acquaintances, family and friends noted between us is….

Once I saw it, I started looking for images that express what I feel and learned from Indra, a.k.a Vajrapani, why I feel so connected to him: I wanted to transmit the energy of life that it embodies the energy of compassion, wisdom, inner-sight, action and total repulsion towards fear, flakiness and self-pity.

How to transmit life-force energy that doesn’t get scare in face of adversity and doesn’t need/want passivity to connect with the true Light inside and outside of ourselves? How to explain that miracles should be our daily living, happiness our normal state of been even when our lives are been turned upside-down and crushed into little pieces with no instructions on how to put it together again…if ever?

Not easy.
I wanted images of people walking and working in a busy street, and a picture of a siluhete of someone in there with the Light coming into their bodies while doing their stuff.
Yeah right, I’m going to find such a picture in a week-long Google search.

At the end I came up with something else, more sort of cliché, but kind of fun.

Now the challenge is to put them together in a way that I feel good about...

Talking about perfection!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Bringing Vajrapani into Your Life

I found this meditation while looking for the meaning and history of Vajrapani.
Turns out lots of meditation centers –at least in California- have a variation of that name as their brand.

Enjoy

“It is recommended that you receive the actual empowerment for these practices when possible. To visualize a sun or moon disc, imagine that it is a disc shaped slice from the center of the moon or sun -- flat like a plate. In all the practices, visualize a white light in the forehead, a red light in the throat and a blue light in the heart. Also imagine the sound Om radiating from the forehead, the sound Ah radiating from the throat and the sound Hung radiating from the heart.

This practice subdues negative forces within and outside yourself that bother you and "eat" at your energy field -- including "the parasite" and "the flyers".
It should be performed as energetically as possible.
Visualize a lotus throne and a sun and moon disc upon which sits a shining blue sphere of light giving off the sound Huuunnnng. Suddenly the light transforms itself into yourself as an extremely wrathful figure -- green-blue with three eyes, rolling tongue and gnashing fangs -- raging with divine wrath against all forces of negativity and perversion of the truth.
In your right hand is a brilliant lightning bolt to subdue and destroy the forces of evil. Your left hand is held firmly at the heart. Blaze with divine rage against all the forces of darkness. You are radiating blue-green light very fiercely and brightly. You dance around wildly and stomp to death all the forces of negativity while reciting the following mantra 21 times or more: OM VAJRA TSANDA MAHA ROKHANA HUNG PHE If you are still bothered and want to do more recite the following mantra: GARUDA TSALE TSALE HUNG PHE NAGADU TSANDE TSANDE MILI MILI BHANDA BHANDA NAGANI SWA HA”

From http://resonateview.org/places/practice/vajra-p.htm

Vajrapani the Energy of Good

His name is Vajrapani, the Lord of Thunder, the embodiment of the vijra.

He represents the Energy in search of the Good.

He’s the archetype of that which is the only truth: everything changes. Nothing stays the same.
Normally we look for something permanent to hold on to but if we instead accept that things will change, our lives can be much easier.

He has a dynamic quality and meditates contemplating how everything is a continuing flow.

His emblem is the vajra that he holds in his right hand
The vajra is a thunderbolt made of diamond. It fuses the powerful force of a thunderbolt and the unbending natural object that cuts everything else but itself.
It is a state of mind which is unshakeable, never affected by anything mundane.

The vajra is irresistible, nothing can stop it.
It smashes through all obstacles, especially the ignorance that causes suffering, and at the same time it is stable and unaffected.
A vajra always destroys its target and returns to the hand of the person who threw it.

In his peaceful form he has a light blue color; he’s young, radiant and relaxed.

In his aggressive form his dark-blue, very fierce looking in a warriors pose, with 3 glaring eyes, one in the middle of his forehead. The halo of flames of transcendental wisdom around him. Holding the vajra in his right hand as if he’s going to throw it.

He looks angry and cruel but it’s because he’s spiritually impatient about the suffering in the world.

He’s the energy that you need to focus and break through ignorance and the energy that is liberated when you finally see things as they are.
When your limiting ideas vanish there is more energy available to you.

He can help you overcome the main obstacle of Life:
Your laziness

If you visualize him in your meditations
He’ll stir your energy up and some of my qualities would start to appear within you.

- You’ll feel protected; you’ll feel an energy that will defend you against laziness or anything else.

- You’ll apply relentless effort; you’ll keep on going and trying. Everything overtime will transform

- You won’t despair; you’ll always get to a point that will be harder that what you though but you’ll believe that wherever you are in life that’s a workable place from which to work towards enlightment.

- You won’t turn back. We all move towards the unforeseen and sometimes you discover things about yourself or your life that you don’t like. That’s when you need that energy that doesn’t turn back. Sometimes we need to retrieve and keep going. That’s the heroic energy of taking a spiritual stand

- You’ll never be satisfied! You’ll always do what is needed and then some.

And you’ll stop worrying about what is or is not. You’ll be able to relax and find out who you are and what you really want.

If you can do that, if you can decide who you want to become as a human being, how you want the world around you to be, and work towards that, knowing that it wont be easy, that there is no absolute truth and no time to lose then you will become the Buddha that embodies compassionate and heart felt effort towards good.

You’ll become Vajrapani the embodiment of wisdom and compassion, the holder of the diamond thunderbolt.


Based on: “Vajrapani - Energy Unlimited
Podcast of life lecture by Tibbetan Buddhist Vessantara, recorded December 6th, 2006 in Cambridge, England.
Dharmachakra © 2000-2006.

http://www.freebuddhistaudio.com/blog/2006/12/06/vajrapani-energy-unlimited

Synchronicities, Signs and the Awakening towards Change

This has been a week of revelations and amazing synchronicities.
I spent most of the time with my mom and my younger brother healing and resting from my surgery, which added an additional significance to the already filled-with-meaning procedure.

I haven’t seen my family in almost a year and by my own account I have changed like night and day since that last time.
I got the feeling that after their week-long stay they left with the same impression but I can’t be 100% sure anyways.

All I did this week was hang out at home and share with my family. No homework, no phone calls, no readings, nothing.
Little by little my place started to have a different energy, a different rhythm with my brother working on his video projects and my mom watching TV and calling my dad every couple of hours to check up on him (if she didn’t call, he’d call) and then going with me for a walk around the neighborhood by sunset.

I had more food in my fridge that what I’ve had in months with my family cooking simple but delicious food for all of us.

Still, because with me nothing is really what it looks like, the fact that I was resting didn’t mean that everything was completely calmed.

As a matter of fact my mind was spinning like crazy because I had my classes to take care of and my life to check upon the minute my family was headed back to Miami.

The thing is: I’m in a threshold.
I’m in a really intense and amazing moment of my life, and that means a lot of anxiety.
My way to deal with that anxiety right now is to go ‘inside’ and take out as many things I can but in a deliberate way: intentional words, intentional actions even intentional thoughts.
It may sound a little too calculated, in a way it is, but after a while it comes naturally…the only condition is that ‘it’ has to be proactive and positive.
It’s a heck of a hard work, especially when what you really want to do is to get out and run as hard and far as you can or scream to the top of your lungs instead of staying still and care for your thoughts…but I’m worth it.

My only problem this week was that I had no one to communicate my stuff with because by the time my family got along with my personal changes they had only one more day left in L.A; and my head was (is) still in a little bit of a haze while the anesthesia was (is) getting out of my body so I was no-good for a typical chat with friends or write anything in my blog or responding emails.

My solution was to ‘meditate in action’: take a thought and follow it through until it has nothing else to say. For example: what would be like if I got the job I want, take that feeling, experience it, follow those thoughts all the way through until there is nothing else to add or someone/something interrupts me.

I can be watching TV or walking down the street, the idea is to focus on a positive stream of thoughts that can change my vibrational stage.
The energy invested in that exercise focuses and drains my attention from anything else and then it’s easier to manage reality.

Another thing I do is read ‘how-to’ spiritual books or any book that I like in order to find tools to assist me in whatever I need.
I never start them in the first chapter or the first page of any chapter but wherever I open them up.

Like the way it have been happening the last couple of weeks, this week they all opened right in the same content: they all talked about ‘Understanding’ as a needed quality for “the journey”.
They said to pay attention to the color indigo; to be aware of anything related to the planet Saturn, the one that doesn’t give up and is fierce, patient, and exorcises the demons in its pursuit of its goals; and to think and be aware of anything with the motherly quality of God: nurturing, soft, helpful and protective.
They talked about looking for triads (groups of three), to try to surround myself with beech trees (“the mother of the woods”), to commit to a spiritual practice and be disciplined, to accept and allow the feeling of pressure and the feeling of apprehension and to follow through if I had the crazy urge to jump into the Abyss (figuratively speaking, ahem).
They all talked about taking things easy and be open for signals that would take me to my next step.
All I had to do was to keep my energy up, be open for signs and follow them.
And the most important thing they said was: not to give up, not now, not ever.

Wow!

I had three books saying exactly the same. Imagine!

I LOVED that synchronicity.
It was kind of fun and heavy at the same time, but the best part was around the corner. Like if those books were waiting for me to follow the basics first and then give me the real message.

All of the sudden way deep into my week I realize that I had my family over (which make us a triad) in my place which is decorated basically with furniture made from or that look like beech trees; both my brother and my mom (and my surgeon of course) were taking care of me (motherly, healing and caring attributes of God), I was thinking about my next move in life (jumping into the Abyss): why I decided to live in L.A, far from my family, what type of person I want to become and what is that I really want my life to look like (Saturn: be clear and focused, let yourself feel the pressure, never giving up) and I committed to think and act positive no matter what (disciplined spiritual practice).

I had all this ideas and meditations, all this affirmations and visualizations but at the end sometimes you think: why bother? Maybe they are just my imagination, maybe they are just words and tra-la-la spooky fads that take you nowhere and just make you waste your time.
Nevertheless, I kept working with them.

And then something incredible happened.

I was dragging myself to research about Indra, not knowing what angle to use or look for. I mean I had to do a podcast from all things about a figure I don’t feel that much of a connection while feeling in need for some guidance in my life, something strong and powerful that would put order to all that maybe-imaginary-bunch of signs that directed me this week towards ‘Understanding’, Growth and Change.
My Babalao got in touch with me so I had my Elegua fired up and working hard (so cool) and my Kabbalistic practices kept me happy and calmed, but I needed something strong also in my classes, something that could give me a response and a specific direction, that I could identify and work with and would sort of close the cycle and make it cohesive and whole.
After all it is Mythology and Depth Psychology.

And then ‘something’ told me to re-read this website I found about Indra. It has some of the names that Indra was known over the years and it occurred to me to check them out…

And there it was.

With the emergence of Buddhism, Indra was transformed to a minor god and most of his positive characteristics were transferred to other images.
One of those images is Vajrapani: The Energy in pursuit of the good, the embodiment of the ‘vija’ which is the energy that connects your heart-wishes with your every day reality.

Vajrapani is indigo blue; is the manifestation of the Buddha that confronts and destroys demons (negativity and pessimism). He looks angry but his anger is towards laziness and darkness. He’s all about compassion and he’s the representation of the power and fearlessness of the Awakened mind.

Vajrapani is about action, moving forward despite the inner questions. In fact he’s the one who confronts those doubts and peel them off to expose them for what they are: nothing.
Vajrapani is about seeing, accepting and working with the true essence of life: Change. He wants us to let go of what we take as reality because nothing is real, change is the only thing we can count on.

His insignia is the ‘vajra’, a thunderbolt made of diamond.
Add the energy of the thunderbolt with the strength of the diamond and you’ll get the fusion of an unshakable power incorporated in an immoveable object that can smash through illusion, ignorance and suffering.
The ‘vajra’ allows the energy of life to flow free and undisturbed, free from the obstacle of laziness which is the most heavy and dangerous of them all.

Now that’s an image I could work with!
I was looking for something I thought impossible and I ended up with exactly what I wanted: everything I read and heard and looked around during this week in one very ugly but charming and powerful figure.

And then I went to see my general doctor, the one that since I started seeing a few months ago who had changed my life in amazing ways, and while I was waiting for my acupuncturist (it is part of the visit) I saw this postcard-size picture that looked kind of odd in the middle of those walls adorned with big prints and oils of mountains and rivers, and a magazine article portraying my doctor as the one who opened paths for Understanding holistic and Natural health in California.
The picture was of a golden Buddhist-kind-of bell and below it the word:

Awakening.

Saturday, March 3, 2007

A Note

He under whose supreme control are horses, all chariots, and the villages, and cattle;
He who gave being to the Sun and Morning, who leads the waters, He, O men, is Indra.

-Rig Veda

Friday, March 2, 2007

Thunders, Arrows and Coincidences

Fertility is the word I’ve been reading and hearing and writing about for more than a week so far.
Just in my past post I mentioned it at least two times, and it’s only a single writing piece.
There were newspaper articles, TV shows and programs, overheard conversation from random people in the street and research about the mythic image I’m studying about: Indra.

I’m even going to undergo a surgical procedure on my ovaries this next week adding to the writing, reading, researched and heard also discussed and checked out.

In my view of the world there are no coincidences, only signs, and my personal task these days has been to find out what it could mean.

Fertility of the mind, fertility of the imagination, fertility of the self, sense of creation, to create something new, the potential of bring something to life, the act of life…
Why the word Fertility with all its connotations has been so present in my life this whole time?

Then I turn to my classes' homeworks and I think to myself: "Duh!"
I have to 'create' answers for all my classes and I have to find a way where what I think and what I have to talk about not only meet but also make sense and actually work for the greater good.
If I can do that, wow I'm great!

The task itself looks a bit uphill especially when I have to research and work with a mythological character with whom I have not much of a connection, yet.

Indra is a Vedic-Hindu god that I never heard about before.
His name I did hear in its feminime version (adding an i after the d): Indira Ghandi, the late prime minister of India that I admired very much; but I never heard about Indra the god.
According to what I've found so far Indra started as a very important figure within the Indo-Aryian and/or Vedic tribes (the names of the tribes and predecesors in that part of the world are a bit complicated for me so I haven't been able to follow up the story that well) but when the Brahmans came in and the whole thing about violence became kind of outdated -no need to fight against anyone anymore, let's keep the status quo people- he became sort of a must-have god because he had his own very significant flock, but his adhesion to violent stuff like thunders and war wasn't of the Brahmans liking so they took all his good qualities and gave them to a new god, Shiva, and left him as sort of the target of other gods looking to make trouble, but because 'fighting' wasn't fashionable or supported the excuse was 'let's revenge something bad Indra did since the begining of time', and on they went to Indra and did something to him like making him look stupid with something he said, or adding hundreds of cuts on his body or humilliate him in front of the Creator himself or something like that really really bad.
That way his followers could keep him but they needed to really take good care of him if they wanted to keep him alive especially when he got in really deeeeeeeep trouble, which was pretty much all the time.

Happens that I'm a very strong woman, very passionate and action oriented, even impulsive.
What to do with a god (a GOD for all things) that 'takes it' with such a passive 'that's the way it is' attitude but to look at it with a microscope or something.
And then I have the word Fertility following me around, what's about that?

Sure Indra was also taken as a fertility god because he brought the monsoon -so needed for the agriculture in India- back to Earth when he fought against a dragon who had kidnapped the water.
Ah! that sounded cool...the story of the dragon kept me hopeful.
It reminded me of my favorite Christian saint, Saint George and indeed that saint is named in some websites where Indra is compared with other mythological figures.
But the excitement flunked when I read over and over and over again how bad he was treated later on and worst, that he took it as is, like: no confrontation or protest or anything.

What an inspirational figure is that when I'm going through one of my existential 'moves' and I need a role model I can look up to. If at least he was a she I might be able to see something I could talk about with interest.

And then, when I thought that everything was lost two things came up in my research, a very interesting twist to the story:
First, some authors stated that the famous swastika, the infamous Nazis' symbol that they actually stole (what a surprise) from the Vedas, was a sign depicting Indra!
Given that Indra was the god of Heavens, as in the atmosphere-Heaven and all its related phenomena: wind, sunny skies, rain, snow, you name it; and all those things came from all directions, Indra's figure is sometimes represented with four arms that point to the East, West, North and South, you take his human figure out, you draw a line following his arms and what you have?: a swastika!

So cool!
What a 'coincidence': a Jewish woman, interested in Kabbalah, researching about a Hindu mytical figure that is said to be the origin of the swastika!
What a trip!
Got to look more into that

And then another BIG, and I mean a HUGE one....

Some of the authors I read over the Internet stated that Indra's feminine equal is...... no more and no less than the MOTHER Goddess of them all:

KALI!

Now that got me really really happy and interested.

When I was a young post-teenager woman I was told that I was Kali's daughter and that the older I'll got the more similar I'd be to her.

Could that be true? that Indra and Kali are related in any way?

She also is shown with 4 arms, like Indra.
I've read that Kali was born from parts of other gods who needed someone to help them fight against demons, they mixed their best weapons and skills and Kali showed up.
I also have read that Kali was Shiva's consort and as such she had complementing attributes that were very Indra-like but in a woman so it was easier to relate to for a Buddhist in a way (I guess)

Why I like Kali so much?
(besides the good memories of my early 20's)
She's a central figure in Tantric Yoga which happens to be a modality of Kundalini Yoga that my Sikh friends in L.A. practice and teach.
What I like the most from Kali though is that she destroys to create, she's wise and motherly, she's the one that makes chaos as something to be confronted to bring wisdom. She's described as young and beautiful, has a gentle smile, and is wise beyond her years.

If that's so, if Kali is the woman-version of Indra the word Fertility makes sense in this whole ordeal, because most of the time after I've heard, read or talked about something related to Fertility, somehow the figure of Kali showed up: in a website, in a store I walk by, in a t-shirt someone is wearing, somewhere.

And if that's just coincidence then I don't think I know what coincidence really is.

Any ideas?

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Huh?

I love to title my blogs with funny, short or symbolic words.
I thought of Vesta, Sophia, Hello!, and dozens of other stuff until I decided to go closer to my heart, mind and soul which brought even more names and words until I got tired of it and did my favorite process of selection: I took one of my favorite books, closed my eyes, opened up wherever my hands decided to and pointed my finger directly into one page.
Voila!

Before the book I did the same with a Google search and I found something that I so wanted to use, but one was way too long:
"Eheye Asher Eheye" a name of God that He used when Moses asked for His name: "I am that I am"
and the other was good but didn't feel like 'it':
"Shadai"the name by which God was known to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, it means 'Almighty' and is also connected with fertility and fruitfulness (which now that I'm writing this sounds quite interesting, I explain why bellow)

So, what my blog's name means?

It is all about Kabbalah

This is going to be quite a long explanation and because it can be quite complex I'll quote from
books of two of my favorite modern Kabbalists: A Wish Can Change Your Life, from my astrologer Gahl Sasson, and The 72 Names of God from one of my former Kabbalah teachers Yehuda Berg

Kabbalah is the ancient "mystical, universal interpretation of the meaning and mechanics of life that has been preserved for thousands of years (...) It instructs that God uses the Tree of Life for the construction of the universe.
Everything emerged from the ten life giving energy forces vibrating through this magnificent cosmic tree" (Sasson, 2001)

"It began with Abraham the father of the three greatest monotheistic religions. Abraham recognized that there were two speheres that affect our lives: spiritual and physical. he revealed the laws for both of these speheres-which is to say, a code of laws for the workings of the entire universe. He explained how the spiritual world intersects with the physical world, and what we can do at that intersection to create happiness.
Using these laws of the universe, Kabbalah offers a system that explains all of the real-life issues.
Kabbalah profoundly influenced the greatest thinkers of history, including Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Mohamed, Pythagoras, Plato, Newton, Libniz, Shakespeare and Jung" (Berg, 2003)

OK, so that's a short-coming of what Kabbalah means, now to the next point.
Again, Mr Berg (I'm going to sort of paraphrase him -sorry APA):

"Kabbalah says that the Bible is a compete code. When this biblical code is cracked awesome spiritual forces empower us to change our lives and transform our world.
That's how the Israelites parted the Red Sea!"

The Israelites used the 72 names of God, embedded in three verses with 72 letters each, to create what we call a real Miracle

Those 72 names are not common names like James or Monica, they are combination of letters that unleash the power of Creation for humans to attain control over the physical world.
According to this principle, humans don't need God's assistance and He never answers prayers, "it is people who answer their own prayers by knowing how to connect to and utilize the divine energy of the Creator and the God-like force in their own souls"
This miraculous power can be found in the 72 names of God.

"But before you master human nature, you need to know a bit more about it. Before you find the Light, you must discover the Light's hiding spot. When we work to find the Light, we feel a sense of accomplishment, we feel responsible of our own happiness. We feel like God, especially when we receive endless happiness as part of the package.

And where is the Light hiding?
According to Kabbalah, humans were created with two distinct aspects to their nature: darkness and Light. Darkness is human ego...and that's where the Light hides!
The Light is the human Soul, which is obscured by ego

The purpose of life is to allow the full intensity of the Light to shine in your life and this world, you have two ways to conduct your life:
- Through your ego
- Through your soul.

Your only free will is to chose between your egocentric reactive nature or your proactive selfless soul"

(How are we doing so far? Does it ring a bell somewhere?)

So, what Kaf Lamed Yud is?

Is one of the 72 names of God.
"The 72 names of God works at the DNA level of the soul, at what physicists call the quantum level or reality.
The 72 names of God targets our ego from a proactive standpoint: you must connect with the soul of the other through unconditional Love and Light for the names to work for you.
They are different combinations of three letters that project energy into the physical world, each one transmit a particular spiritual influence into your life.
The three letters signify three forces
-A positive charge
-A negative charge
-A ground wire

For those names to work you must believe they work, you must understand what the particular name you are using is for, you must follow through with a physical action to activate it's power"

In the book The 72 Names of God Yehuda Berg explains each and every one of the names with an insight, a short explanation of what the name means and what it can be used for and a meditation to visualize while we recite the name in silence or aloud, whatever the way that fits better for us.


What Kaf Lamed Yud is for:

"FERTILITY" (kind of Shaddai but not quite)
The insight: It is not only about giving birth to children, but new ideas and business solutions require the divine force of fertility. Fertile minds and fertile bodies bring forth the kinds of miracles and blessings that lead us to fulfillment.
The meditation: Abundance and fruitfulness fill your being. You are imbued with the power of procreation.

As kabbalist often say: you may or may not believe a word I say, but why not checking it out and see if it works.
An open mind is all it's needed which sometimes is not easy thing to do...

In any case, that's what my blog's name means but be aware that I may change it often cause I want it to reflect a part of me that is in the works at any given time...

By the way The 72 Names of God is a great coffee-table book, nice pictures and simplistic layout and yet it has a profound content. It's so well thought it's one of my favorite things to give as a gift.
Gahl Sasson's book: A Wish Can Change Your Life is an amazing book as well, but the content is not as simplistic as the other one. Gahl is the 'cycle/myths astrologer' every single thing he says is followed by a minimum of 4 mythic figures from different cultures that he explains to make his point.
I love it but not everyone can swallow so much information -although the writing is not complicated at all- in what can be called a very special self-help book (how to utilize the energy of the Tree of Life in achieving your dreams, how about that!)

OK, time to check how the Oscars are doing!